I had a bad dream

Assalamualaikum.

Before I knew my result, I had a really bad dream. It's actually a mixing between a good and a bad dream.  In my dream, my mum..u know..what can be a bad dream than that. I don't want to say it. But I don't remember how it happened. I think she's just 'left' me when she was sleeping. And then I cried a lot until at one time, there's someone came and I open the door. He gave me my result, it's not a matrix's result but I know in that dream that it's my examination's result. When I opened it, I knew that I'm excellent in it. But somehow my end marks is not as what I thought but it's still good enough and I'm very thankful to Him.

When I woke up, I heard a message came from my cellhone and I knew that it is my result. And yes, it did happened like in my dream. But I just hope that another part in my dream doesn't happening ever. Please Allah, I hope I'll be dead first before my mum. I can't face it if it happen to me. I hope it's a vice-versa from that.

Do you ever imagine if you lose your mother? After what we had done to them, sometimes we hurt them without we notice about it. What will happen if we don't have a chance to say sorry to them? I love my mum so much and I really can't live without her. I should be more thankful to Allah for giving me the best mum in the world. She have a lot of patience and she's very lovely. Maybe I never say it to her or anybody but I can't live without you, mother. I need you. Please don't leave me.

My mum has turn 60. I don't know how much time left for me to be with her. I'm always busier with my study and after this maybe I'll be busy for my work. I wish sometimes to always be beside her, have a work but always have a time for her. Hopefully I can be with her when she's happy or sad, in trouble or in a fine condition. Maybe I'm not a good daughter but I always want to make her happy no matter what. Maybe one day her wish may hurt my feeling but I'll always do anything that will make her happy. Maybe I don't have much time left to be with her. That's why I need to do my best to make her happy in her life.
Who knows when I'm gonna died to, right? Only Allah knows...

Mum, I'm sorry if I ever hurt you..of course I never meant it. I always want to make you and dad to be the happiest parents ever in this world. Everything I do is and was for both of you. I love you forever and after, in this world and also hereafter. I'm happy because I made them happy recently from my success and I will always make them happy after this. Yes mummy, I dedicate my life first just for Allah and the prophet,
Rasulullah SAW, the one that I always miss and next of course just for you mum and for dad.



My mum is amazing. I have done so much things before this that may made her hurt but I'm still living because of her patience. When I read back my old diary, in that diary I blame her for not giving me a chance to couple before this. And when I read it now, I really regret what I had said. I realize now that she had done something just for my own best. And I never regret for choosing this path, to make her happy and never couple until I marry. Sometimes you don't agree with your parent, how they simply just said to you "don't" and "don't", but of course they know better that you. Believe me, no, believe in your parent..

It's hurt enough for her to giving me a birth once upon time and I hope that will be the last pain she'll ever feel from me. Thank you mummy for giving me a chance to live in this world.

p/s : Mum, thank you for being such a great mother to us.

p/ss : this is some kind of promise I made. Hopefully it will remind me when things go wrong one day...