Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
I don't know how much time I'm wasting my 'air mata' in here, at this new place. I'm not like this when I was in matrix once before. I don't know la maybe it's too tiring and tension here. I mean, if I stay at Kampus Gong Badak I think I can try to adapt with the environment because I'm used with it. But know suddenly we need to pindah here at Kampus Kota without knowing any single things in here, that I feel like a strangers. Like kambing masuk kampung ( I'm not sure whether kambing or what kind of animal). The tired feeling is still here in my body and now we need to continue our next orientation day this weekend. We're so lucky, right? And I'm totally wired off...
Actually, I should start my entry with my life during the orientation week at Kampus Gong Badak but I already wrote it in the diary so I think if I feel rajin to type it, I'll type it here. For the first time I arrived at Kampus Kota, I felt blur. And that's the first day in Terengganu that I cried. Hardly. Yeah, it has been a long time since the last time I cried so hard like that. It's because of a lot of pressure I've been face and need to go through that I finally let it OUT! Yeah...finally..
And it's not just that, tonight I cried again when I know that we must go to the orientation in this weekend and can't give any lame excuse. Well, they give us a chance to go out with parents using the free time that we have but I think it's not berbaloi since they come here a long way and I just can see them for only an hour. Who will be satisfied with that right? And once again I can't do anything that it makes me feel easy to cry rather than talking back or anything else.
And you must be wonder why I type in english. It's because we, here, need to talk in english whether in lecture, class or when we talk to the lecturer. The aim is because to make us getting used with that language. And it's kinda of cultural shock to me but I still try my best to talked in english with my friends. Luckily, they don't laugh at me. And then the lecturer that we got here, some of them come from outside of our country that they have their own accent. Sometimes, I just can't understand what they said and sometimes they talked to fast that I feel dizzy. Honestly, I feel boring to learn and talk in english almost everytime that I just feel want to talk in malay back, as usual.
This first week of lecture, I can say that I feel blur. There's so many things that I need to get used first and of course we're talking about time here. I need some time to get used with all of this new things that I face. One think that I want, I just hope I won't give up in this field that I already choose.
When we started our lecture, it's funny of how easy I felt sleepy that I cant stand to open my eyes anymore. And then I remember that biology is always the boring and sleepy subject when I was in matrix. And then I wonder of how come I take this course when I was always sleepy at the biology lecture in matrix. I'll rather make math or chemy's practice in my room at matrix rather that study bio because I know from the time I start to open the book, I'll feel sleepy.
And one more thing, I think that my friends don't liek me so much and I don't know why. I always try my best to keep smiling when I see them. Yeah, I'm a silent person but can it make them hate me? huhu. I tried my sis's advice and I still don't know whether it works or not.
The best thing about being here is that the internet is so fast that I don't have a problem to do anything involving internet anymore. I'm very thankful about this one thing. It seems like I can wrote many entry la after this since I can online whenever I want. Well, just one way for me to express my feelings only.
Overall, I just can't get used with the life here. I hope I can get used as soon as possible so that I'll just have to think about study only after this. Insyaallah.
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