Upss, I'm going to talk about it once again!!

Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum.

As my title told you, yes I'm going to repeat my old entry. It's about confident. Remember my last entry about 'When my confident crash!', yeahh, I'm gonna write about it once again. For my old entry, I remember I felt unconfident because of many pretty girls in facebook. And now, once again, I feel unconfident but not because of facebook BUT because of all the beautiful girls (including my friends and seniors) here.

If and only if you know what I feel ( I just hope you can feel it)...

Last two days, I had done the body composition to check for amount of fat, water. muscle in body, BMI and so on using that machine (which I dunno yet what it's called). Our lecturer, Prof. Murali made it compulsory for us to do that (which if he don't force us, I surely wouldn't do it). So, this one machine can tell your body age, that's mean, from what it calculate about your body fat, and bla bla bla, it conclude that your now body is in what age. And my body age is 40. I think I'm the oldest la. Compare to others, ada yang 30 lebih jugak but I still tak dengar lagi ada yang dapat 40 and above. First time I knew about it, I'm not so sad. I just try my best to ignore the result and forget about it. But later, my friends kept bothered me by asking my body age and it makes me remember about it, it makes me stress and, sad. This is one of the reason why I feel unconfident right now.

In addition, my skin's getting darker. It's all because of the orientation week! huhuhu..my skin especially my face is not as before. Well, my mum said I'm not that dark but still different from before la. This's the third reason.

The fourth reason is because I'm FAT! Yes, I am. Compare to my friends, I'm FAT. And actually yes it's true that I'm in the obesity state right now.

Fifth, I'm not as famous as before when I'm in high school. It's not that I'm crazy to be famous but it's just that people don't want to listen to me that I feel useless. Just like that. Well, I'm not even capable to be the leader's assistant for my class because I'm not a talkative person. T.T  I feel useless and so sad..

Sixth, I feel unconfident because everyone ignores me! T.T including my senior. Well, bukanlah ignore macam tak layan if I'm gonna ask them or something it's just that they have no reason to talk to me. It seems like nothing but I feel something because it's different from my life in high school before this.

Yeah, I think this is the major reasons why I feel unconfident. I keep have a negative thinking which I dunno why I'm like this...! wuuu...I'm not like this before. I'm not a negative person. I'm not...! Help ME! I really wish somebody can help me to overcome this. I can't think positive anymore. That positive data is missing from my brain.

p/s : Positive Liyana, positive!

p/ss: I need to settings my feelings la, I need to know how to differentiate between love and impress+like someone's charm and advantages.